Man Freaks Out in Bagel Shop Because Ladies on Internet Dating Sites Don’t Like Brief Dudes

In 1978, Randy Newman composed a half-assed song called “Short People,” released it as just one, and types of thought that folks would recognize that it absolutely was a parody of various prejudices. Alternatively, he got threats from people—possibly ones—who that is short heard like “Short individuals got no reason/To reside,” missed the laugh entirely, so he invested plenty of years hating “Short individuals,” if you don’t brief individuals.

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One of several last verses into the track has the duplicated line “Quick individuals got love that is nobody/To” and despite Newman’s not-at-all serious premise, that appears to be true for one or more quick individual on longer Island. Or at the very least that is why he went definitely fucking bonkers in a Bagel employer today.

The morning meal audience during the Bagel employer in Bay Shore, nyc had been addressed for this bit of performance art from the self-described man that is short whom utilized his fun-sized stature as a reason to rant during the restaurant’s female workers.

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“This guy stepped into Bagel employer this flipping out on a worker that was making his breakfast calling her names and claiming she had a smerk [sic] on her face,” Diana Reyes, a customer in the store, posted on Facebook morning. “When other folks got included telling him to get rid of being rude and sticking up for the working it’s this that took place. He started ranting about ladies in the store. smh i cannot think this.” That is presumably when Reyes started filming. At the start of the beyond-viral clip, somebody asks him why it is okay for him to degrade females. “Degra–just why is it okay for females to express ‘Oh, you are five foot [tall]’ on online dating sites? ‘You must certanly be dead,’ which is OK. ” he yells straight back at her.

“Who said that for you right here?” the lady asks him off-camera. “No Body.” He reacted by continuing to yell. “Females generally speaking have actually stated it on internet dating sites. You believe i am making that shit up? Every-where we get, we have the exact same smirk that is fucking the biting lip,” he stated. (by having an mindset that way, perhaps their SugarBook login height is not why he is striking down on Christian Mingle or whatever?)

Whenever another client informs him to knock it well, he turns around, jabs their little finger in the guy, and claims, “Shut the mouth area! You aren’t Jesus, or my dad, or my employer.” He will continue to challenge one other clients, telling one of these to “go ahead and strike me.” We do not like to ruin it, but it is not likely a idea that is great inform you to definitely strike you until you’re completely on-board with being pinned straight down for a slim strip of commercial-grade carpeting.

A 2nd consumer posted his or her own video of “what take place [sic] next. even though original video clip prevents using the man flat on his straight back in-front for this early morning’s bagel selection” Mr. Five Feet, that is now standing upright, yells, “Fuck your fuckin’ break fast,” and tosses his or her own to-go bagel on the bottom. He spends another 30 moments yelling at “all that you women” before stomping out of the door.

Although that man is almost certainly not welcomed right back (like, ever), Donald Rosner, whom owns several Bagel employer areas, tweeted that virtually any consumer whom mentions the movie will get a free mini-bagel. (the particular Bagel employer, tossing angry color). And longer Island-based Blue aim Brewing is utilizing the video clip as possible motivation for the brand new alcohol. “today we desired a bagel, now we truly need a beer that is little” it tweeted, along side two Bagel Boss-inspired labels. The essential relatable minute in that whole tantrum took place as Rant-Man was being tackled to the ground. “Oh my god,” a woman sighed off-camera. “we simply desired bagels.” Obtain a roundup that is personalized of’s most readily useful tales in your inbox. By signing around the VICE newsletter you consent to get electronic communications from VICE that could often add ads or sponsored content.